A Letter To My 2 Year Old
My Sweet, Wild Boy
Today’s the big day – the day you have been singing and fantasizing about for months – today you are 2. It still feels so surreal to utter these words, I still see you as my baby, wasn’t it just yesterday that I held you for the first time? In that split second of holding you, I was introduced to true motherly love – a love that is unconditional, unbreakable and unimaginable.
My boy and as I sit here typing this I am filled with a ball of emotions. I am happy that we get to celebrate another year of being blessed with you in our lives. I love seeing you grow, and develop and find the person God created YOU to be, and I am so excited about all the great and wonderful things that you will still do in this life, but I am also a little sad. A little sad that my baby is officially no longer a baby, a little sad that time goes by so fast, and a little sad that I will no longer hear those baby babbles and screeches as you find your voice more and more each day. But mostly I am a little sad about all the “lasts” that I took for granted, the “lasts” that became just that, a little too fast, a little unexpected.
You are 2 now and everything has changed my boy, YOU have changed . You are no longer a fragile little bab, fully dependent on mama, no… you are now a strong-willed, stubborn little boy who wants to do everything himself, and you love reminding mommy that you CAN as you throw out the shoes I picked out and slip on your favorite “spiderman boots”. I see that as you walk across the hall when you wake up with a smile on your face, instead of crying for mama. I feel it in the mornings as you walk to class yourself and give mama a high five and kiss before I leave, instead of clinging to my neck. You are full of surprises and bring something new and exciting to every day. You are sweet, SO funny, silly and friendly with the smile of an angel and you really do always smile.
Mommy, however, has also learned to not let that sweet, innocent smile fool anyone, because you have a naughty side to you too, clear as day as you take something from your brother’s room or mommy’s drawer and hide it behind your back, under your arm or inside your shirt just to sneakily take them to your room, and when spotted those little legs of yours run as fast as they can with the naughtiest little giggle and scream following behind.
You are curious, wild, adventurous and daring – nothing is too high, too big or too fast for you.
I marvel at the uniqueness of your personality – you have that something special, something different that the world needs. A spark that cannot be described in words but needs to be experienced. A spark that never dies but could send a fire through a room in a matter of moments. Mommy is so lucky because I get to experience YOU daily through your dramatic scenes and wild imagination. Together we have jumped from mountains, got stuck to walls and we have even been heroes rescuing people and cars from your crash scenes. Your imagination is magical, and you take mama on so many different adventures and I love going there with you too, because I know some day those adventures will only be for one.
You love music and ever so often I find you shyly singing or dancing along to a song. Yes, I notice you, but I also know to not show you that. You love cracking jokes and making silly faces and often laugh at yourself in the mirror. You can make people laugh or just laugh at yourself and that’s a beautiful trait to have, because you will need that in the big world.
But regardless of your wild, rough, and tough nature you are also sweet and loving and your “BIG Hugs” and kisses are the BEST! Mama loves how you take my face in your little hands, slowly turn my head to the one side to give me a kiss on my cheek and then to the other side. Mama loves how you say “sowwy mama” when you know you have done something wrong, or give me a kiss when you think I have an “eina”. Mama loves the feeling of your little arms wrapped around my neck as you come in for a “BIG Hug”, and mama loves how you push your little body tightly against mine for a cuddle in the mornings.
I am constantly reminded of how much you have changed, and it is ever so clear when I watch you play – it usually looks like you are in some kind of warzone – cars crashing here, there and everywhere, towers of blocks falling down and suddenly a dinosaur to trample over everything, just for a Lion or elephant to come along and save the day (I told you, you have a vivid imagination). And through all the chaos, biting and fixing (your tools are magical because they can truly fix ANYTHING) mama sees the beauty – the beauty of YOU and how far you have come. The beauty of an imagination that gives you an escape from this world
Mama is not going to lie in saying that the last year has been easy – it hasn’t. You learned that boundaries can be tested, pushed and even broken and you have tried them all (still do). You know what you want and you get very angry and frustrated if that’s not what we want. You have taught mommy to be patient and a little more understanding and truthfully mama still fails at that sometimes. You have also found your voice and you are not afraid to use it. You make sure you are being heard with your loud and strong “NO” or “NO WAYS” and if that doesn’t work tackle plan B with a high pitch scream or cry. And then there is the sleep thing – Oh never mind, you know nothing about that thing, you just don’t do it. But all of this has only proven to mama that nothing could make me ever love you any less. In fact through it all I have learned to love you even more, because now I love you for your flaws, and imperfections.
And just when mama thinks that my independent boy no longer needs me, you come cuddle up tight next to me, eyes sparkling with a “boobie pwease mama” and I catch you staring at my face, holding me tight and as our eyes meet we smile together, because I know you will always need me in one way or another and you know that I will always be there for you. You will always be my son and I will always be your “mama”.
My boy, last night as I lay next to you, singing you your lullabies and kissing my then one year old cheek for the very last time, I realized again that we may close one Chapter of our life journey book now, but there are so many more exciting Chapters ahead of us – each will have its own “firsts” and “lasts”, its own “ups” and “downs” but they will all be equally special and exciting. My boy today we start tackling our new 365 page Chapter together and I am so so excited! I am so incredibly proud to be called your mama my little 2 year old wild child, and always remember I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you forevermore!
Happy 2nd Birthday my Sweetie Pie!